Poltoon!

As you can see Reading came under attack this year from the Flying Spagetti Monster that has been seen on the internet recently. FSM was thought to have been summoned up by a number of Pastafarians that were seen in the crowd. We were rather hoping that Dave Grohl would come to our patch in the campsite and partake of some festival delicacies with us while installing plumbing to our tent with his Monkey Wrench, sadly he was "done, done and on to the next one" before we were able to get him over. I thought I saw his helicopter leaving.

My friend Burt was so excited that he threw up!

I put on an LP of Kate Bush
Watched it spin on the turntable like a top
In the garden I found a dead mouse
The cat left, it's body was broken, I bore it up
Took it down the garden and the strings went like a funeral march in the background
(I think I know what Kate Bush meant)

Coming back I found two ladybirds in the lavender
And a spider sitting in his web
And marvelled at the world
Thinking every clod of earth was the remains of something dead

A helicopter went over the house
It was painted in camoflage green
And I was already hidden away inside
Thinking that behind glass I was unseen
(In the daylight even things hidden behind glass can remain unseen
From the outside)




For The Japanese

Why would they put the toilet in the middle of the house?
Why?!
So that everyone around can hear the turds plopping when you use it
Going 'plop plop'(?)

In this house there is nothing to do but slowly attempt hari-kari by spontaneous combustion
The Japanese have it right
The only honourable way is out suicide
The family's constant bickering leaves you no privacy, but one respite

The garden is, of course, entirely visible from the glass house
But there is one patch sunken out of the field of view
So you can go down there and have a quiet smoke
No one will know.

Yes there is no honour in this place
Everybody can see right through
And the Japanese Samurai have it right
Sometimes falling on your sword is all you can do.



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